“O Lord, you are my lamp. The Lord lights up my darkness.” 2 Samuel 22:29

We often fear what hides in the darkness. The UNKNOWN motivates us to leave the nightlight on, steers us toward well lit streets, makes us use the “Buddy System.”

Sometimes, what scares us the most is the KNOWN that is hiding in that same darkness. Sides of our personalities that have been met with judgment. Painful words that have warped our identities. Memories that have formed dark expectations. Wounds that hurt too much to dress. They follow us like shadows, less than a step behind. We think that keeping them in the darkness, where they can blend in, will keep us safe. We think that stepping into the light will expose our true shape, and the world will see us for what we really are.

Once when I was spending the night away from home, I turned out the lights and went to bed and my eyes began to adjust to the darkness. I began to see shapes. I looked toward the door and saw what looked like a tall person standing in the room, staring down at me. My heart stopped. I held my breath for several seconds before I realized that the shape was not moving. I soon realized that it was a robe hanging on the door.

This is what the painful knowns do when we leave them in the darkness. They begin to look like more than what they are, and they send us running, hiding from… shadows. We will continue to run and hide unless we step into the light, and take them with us. Once the light of truth hits them, we are able to recognize them for what they truly are:
Warped shapes of things that no longer exist. Lies in disguise. Then we can stop running. We can be free.

I once read (I can’t remember where) that being yourself gives those around you the freedom to be themselves. This motivated me to be myself for the sake of others, in spite of those who might take issue with my oddities. I think this also applies to our shadows. Giving words to my shadows might help others put words to theirs. It might give them the courage to speak those words, exposing them to the light. The brightest light that shines is the light of Christ. The Word of God has cast many of my knowns into the light, providing freedom that only He can provide. For these reasons, I write about my shadows in light of Christ’s grace, love and power. I pray that you who read about my journey will experience that same freedom by joining me in the light.