Tag: #darkness

Why I Write

“O Lord, you are my lamp. The Lord lights up my darkness.” 2 Samuel 22:29

We often fear what hides in the darkness. The UNKNOWN motivates us to leave the nightlight on, steers us toward well lit streets, makes us use the “Buddy System.”

Sometimes, what scares us the most is the KNOWN that is hiding in that same darkness. Sides of our personalities that have been met with judgment. Painful words that have warped our identities. Memories that have formed dark expectations. Wounds that hurt too much to dress. They follow us like shadows, less than a step behind. We think that keeping them in the darkness, where they can blend in, will keep us safe. We think that stepping into the light will expose our true shape, and the world will see us for what we really are.

Once when I was spending the night away from home, I turned out the lights and went to bed and my eyes began to adjust to the darkness. I began to see shapes. I looked toward the door and saw what looked like a tall person standing in the room, staring down at me. My heart stopped. I held my breath for several seconds before I realized that the shape was not moving. I soon realized that it was a robe hanging on the door.

This is what the painful knowns do when we leave them in the darkness. They begin to look like more than what they are, and they send us running, hiding from… shadows. We will continue to run and hide unless we step into the light, and take them with us. Once the light of truth hits them, we are able to recognize them for what they truly are:
Warped shapes of things that no longer exist. Lies in disguise. Then we can stop running. We can be free.

I once read (I can’t remember where) that being yourself gives those around you the freedom to be themselves. This motivated me to be myself for the sake of others, in spite of those who might take issue with my oddities. I think this also applies to our shadows. Giving words to my shadows might help others put words to theirs. It might give them the courage to speak those words, exposing them to the light. The brightest light that shines is the light of Christ. The Word of God has cast many of my knowns into the light, providing freedom that only He can provide. For these reasons, I write about my shadows in light of Christ’s grace, love and power. I pray that you who read about my journey will experience that same freedom by joining me in the light.

The Dark Path

“Jesus asked the boy’s father, ‘How long has he been like this?’
‘From childhood,’ he answered. ‘It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him.  But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.’
”If you can?’ said Jesus. ‘Everything is possible for one who believes.’
Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, ‘I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!’”  Mark 9:21-24 NIV

I believed that I had faith until faith was all that I had left.  I believed that God would do miracles until a miracle was the only thing that could help me.  I learned that you can believe that you believe until your belief is tested.  Then you realize that you never knew what it meant to believe in the first place.

His son was under the power of dark forces.  He told Jesus, “If you can do anything…”  He believed enough to take his son to Jesus, but he was still doubtful.  Did he doubt Jesus’ ability or His willingness?  Does it matter?  Jesus saw through his words.  Jesus ability or willingness did not need defending.  The uncertainty dwelt within the man’s heart.  “Everything is possible FOR ONE WHO BELIEVES.”  The man’s response seems contradictory.  “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

This was me.  I believed, but never really believed.  I never believed that I would be tested beyond my own strength.  I never believed that Jesus would step in for me if my strength was no longer sufficient.  I believed that, as long as I proclaimed my belief and helped others with theirs, God would never press the issue.  And then the storm hit, and darkness followed.  I found myself crying out, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

This is where faith grows.  It grows at the end of your rope, beyond the reach of your strength, outside your capacity of understanding, on the path after the sun has set and you cannot see what is ahead.  Then you realize that faith is not faith until it has been tested.  When you find yourself there, stay on the path and keep believing.  Jesus will meet you there.  He will light your way.

“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’”  John 8:12

Dark Sky